The Fine Print: Hidden Clauses in Major Sports Contracts

16 October 2025

When you think about sports contracts, you probably imagine millions of dollars, signing bonuses, and all the glory that comes with being a professional athlete. But what if I told you that some of these contracts have hidden gems—wacky, outrageous, and downright ridiculous clauses that make you wonder if the lawyers had a little too much fun?

Yes, my friend, professional sports contracts are not just about money and endorsements. Sometimes, they include clauses so bizarre that they belong in a comedy script. Buckle up, because we’re diving deep into some of the strangest clauses that have ever been tucked away in the fine print of major sports contracts.

1. The "No Space Travel" Clause – Because Playing on Earth Isn’t Enough?

Let's start with Stephon Marbury, a former NBA player. When he signed with the Phoenix Suns, the team included a clause preventing him from engaging in… wait for it… space travel.

Yes, you read that right.

Apparently, the Suns’ management was concerned that Marbury might suddenly decide to hop on a spaceship and leave his dribbling duties behind. Now, while I admire their forward-thinking approach (maybe they feared Elon Musk would recruit point guards for Mars?), this clause remains one of the most puzzling in sports history.

Honestly, wouldn’t it be fun if a player simply disappeared into space mid-season? "The Lakers lose LeBron James for the season due to an intergalactic business trip."

2. The "No Mustache Shaving" Clause – Facial Hair Matters!

Back in the day, baseball pitcher Rollie Fingers was known for his legendary handlebar mustache. His facial hair game was so strong that when he got an offer from the Cincinnati Reds, the team wanted him to shave it off due to their strict clean-shaven policy.

What did Fingers do? He said nope and stayed with the Milwaukee Brewers, where his mustache was free to roam.

Imagine being so attached to your facial hair that it becomes a contract dealbreaker. That’s the kind of dedication I respect.

3. The "Must Own a Goat" Clause – Because, Why Not?

Michael Jordan—arguably the greatest basketball player ever—had a clause in one of his contracts that gave him the ability to play basketball whenever and wherever he wanted during the offseason.

But this isn’t the weird part.

In the European soccer world, former Real Madrid striker Roberto Rojas had a contract that required him to take care of a goat. Yes, a real, live goat. Why? Because the club owner believed that it was a lucky charm. Now, I don’t know about you, but if my boss required me to keep a goat as part of my employment, I’d demand a pay raise to cover the emotional trauma of goat ownership.

4. The "No Pick-Up Basketball" Clause – Ball is NOT Life

Many athletes love playing sports outside of their profession, but teams don’t always share that enthusiasm. Enter the "No Pick-Up Basketball" clause, which has appeared in multiple contracts, including those of baseball players like Aaron Boone.

Boone, a former MLB player, once tore his ACL playing pick-up basketball, leading to the Yankees voiding his contract. After that, teams started including clauses that strictly forbade players from engaging in non-professional basketball games.

Imagine being told you can’t play basketball… because you’re too good at it? That’s like telling a chef they can’t cook at home because they might burn the toast.

5. The "Ice Cream Bonus" Clause – Sweet, Sweet Incentives

Sure, bonus clauses in contracts are normal. Players get extra cash for scoring goals, hitting home runs, or breaking records. But how about getting paid in ice cream?

NHL player Jaromír Jágr reportedly had a clause in his contract that rewarded him with unlimited ice cream if he played well. Talk about motivation!

Honestly, if my job paid me in unlimited ice cream, I’d be the most dedicated employee on the planet. "Sorry, boss, can’t talk—gotta finish this report to maximize my ice cream earnings."

6. The "Must Weigh Under a Certain Number" Clause – No Cheeseburgers for You!

Many contracts in professional sports come with weight clauses. Teams want to ensure that their players stay in peak physical condition, so they put weight restrictions in the agreements.

One of the most famous was Eddie Lacy’s contract with the Seattle Seahawks. His deal included weight incentives that would pay him extra money if he kept his weight below a certain threshold.

Now, imagine every time you step on a scale, it directly impacts your bank account. One too many cheeseburgers? BOOM—there goes a couple hundred thousand dollars. The anxiety alone would make me switch to salads for life.

7. The "No Playing Video Games" Clause – Esports Not Allowed

Video games and athletes? Apparently, some teams think gaming is too addictive.

Carlos Zambrano, a former MLB pitcher, reportedly had a contract clause that prevented him from playing video games too much. Why? Because he was spending hours glued to the screen, which affected his performance on the field.

Imagine losing millions because you couldn’t stop playing Call of Duty. That’s a real 21st-century problem if I’ve ever seen one.

8. The "Don’t Ride Motorcycles" Clause – Stay Off the Road!

Athletes love adrenaline, but teams? Not so much. That’s why multiple contracts have included "no motorcycle riding" clauses.

This became a common practice after basketball player Jay Williams crashed his motorcycle and suffered severe injuries, effectively ending his career. After that, teams started making sure their players kept both feet on the ground.

It’s kinda ironic, though. You can get tackled by a 300-pound lineman, but riding a motorcycle is where we draw the line.

9. The "No Surfing" Clause – Hang Ten at Your Own Risk

As much as we'd love to imagine pro athletes catching waves during their off days, some contracts strictly forbid surfing.

Andrew Bynum, a former NBA player, had a "no surfing" clause in his contract. The reason? Teams feared injuries caused by sharks, wipeouts, or getting absolutely wrecked by a rogue wave.

Basically, if you’re a professional athlete, your vacation options are strictly limited to reading books on the beach.

10. The "Bat Must Be Made of Special Wood" Clause – Superstitions Win Again

Baseball players are notoriously superstitious. Some wear the same socks every game, while others refuse to shave during the season. But then, there’s Moisés Alou.

Alou insisted that his bat be made from a very specific type of wood, and his contract actually reflected that. If the team couldn’t provide that exact bat? Well, he wasn’t playing.

I can barely tell the difference between brands of bottled water, but this man could feel the difference in bat wood. Respect.

Final Thoughts: The Wild World of Sports Contract Clauses

At the end of the day, sports contracts are more than just numbers and legal jargon. They hold some of the most hilarious, head-scratching rules that reveal just how unique (and bizarre) the world of professional sports can be.

So the next time you hear about a major contract signing, just remember—there’s probably a clause in there preventing someone from moonlighting as an astronaut or adopting a pet goat. And honestly, that’s what makes sports so much fun.